hello my old heart.

My heart plays tricks on my mind. In the darkness, when I am trying to be still, I can feel my heart ache inside my chest, restricting the flowing blood, and shortening my breath. It sends movie reels to my eyes, replaying the moments I could have chosen my path differently. It shows me how I got here, to this province, to this class, to this mat, on this floor, lying still in the darkness.

I am searching for a balance between keeping my heart locked away, or wearing it on my sleeve. Is there such an in-between place?

If my heart could sing tonight, it would sing this lovely song, that I will leave for you here:

Hello my old Heart – The Oh Hellos

Hello my old heart
How have you been
Are you still there inside my chest?
I’ve been so worried
You’ve been so still
Barely beating at all

Oh, don’t leave me here alone
Don’t tell me that we’ve grown
For having loved a little while
Oh, I don’t want to be alone
I want to find a home
And I want to share it with you

Hello my old heart
It’s been so long
Since I’ve given you away
And every day I add another stone
To the walls I built around you
To keep you safe

Hello my old heart
How have you been?
How is it, being locked away?
Well don’t you worry
In there, you’re safe
And it’s true, you’ll never beat
But you’ll never break

Nothing lasts forever
Some things aren’t meant to be
But you’ll never find the answer
Until you set your old heart free

Until you set your old heart free


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