a letter to myself

About a month ago I had a really incredible day. One of those days where life just works out and the pieces feel like they’re falling into place. I remember thinking to myself, hey self, you’re pretty fucking rad. Look at all this cool stuff you’ve done, and these beautiful things you create, and no one did it but you. I was feeling pretty pleased with myself to say the least. While I was having this build-me-up-buttercup chat with myself, another thought occurred, hey self, you did all this while you’ve been single. You don’t need a partner to complete you, because you complete you.

So I wrote this in my journal, and I thought I’d share.

A letter to Shannon who is going through a break-up:

Yeah, it fucking hurts like hell. You’re probably thinking, “I can’t live without him”, or “our future together was planned out, what am I going to do now?”.  I’m not telling you not to feel those feelings. Own them. Break something. Scream into your pillow. Cry until your face turns blue, and then… breathe. Just open your mouth and suck in all the air your lungs will allow and then push that air out. Sight it out. LOUD. I don’t care where you are, just sigh.

Okay. Now you’ve taken a breath. Ready?

You’ve gone through this before. You have given your heart to a boy and he was greedy and took not only your heart but also your body and soul. You didn’t know any better. You thought he was giving the same back to you.

So you stepped the fuck up and took it all back. It was so broken, but you rebuilt it. YOU REBUILT IT. 

And you did that because you are amazing. 

So here you are, crying break-up tears. Maybe for the last time, maybe not. Maybe you thought the last time was the last time. Maybe you hoped it was.

Well I am here to tell you hoping and wishing do not matter here. Here is what matters:

You are strong as fuck. You took steps of courage. No, LEAPS of courage. You leapt and bound across the scariest, darkest places. Actually, sometimes you took a detour through the dark places. You thought that was where you belonged. You didn’t know how to get back out. But you did. You dove into yourself. Instead of looking for a way out, you looked for a way in. Inside. To the very deepest depths of you.

You swam across oceans; you ran across bridges that you thought would break, but they didn’t. Because as you ran across those bridges courage poured from your feet and strengthened the track. As you swam across the oceans your salty tears built a boat, and you found your way.

I guess my point is this. You can go through a thousand more break-ups, and it will still be okay. It won’t be easy, but it will be okay.

Why?

Because you’re you. 

Because you have learned so much about yourself and now, the only person who you will give your mind, body, and soul to is you. Any person that comes close will know that you take care of yourself first. 

If, along the way, you forget that, that’s okay too. It happens. So read this letter again.

If nothing else, remember this: You are so beautiful. You are good. You are perfect just the way you are, and you could use some work. You are smart. You are kind. You are truly lovely. 

Love, 
Single Shannon

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